Kimberly Gayle Smith
Saved, Saved, Saved
When I was nine years old, people had been asking me for a while if I was lost. I told them no, so they would leave me alone. I didn’t like how it made me feel. My mother and I were getting ready to go to a youth meeting at church and a friend of mine, Mary Beth Stanley, had just come under conviction. Her mom called and asked us to pray for her and to tell us that they would not be at the youth meeting because Mary was seeking the Lord. When Mom turned to tell me that Mary needed our prayers, I knew that I was not in any condition to pray for anyone but myself. We went to the youth meeting and Mary came and said the Lord had saved her. I didn’t do anything that day, but I thought about it all the next day at school. Monday night I was going to sing in a play at school. After the play, I was at home in my room changing my clothes, and the conviction was so heavy that I fell beside my bed, praying. My mom was in the kitchen washing dishes and began to wonder why I was gone so long. She came to my room and saw me crying by my bed and knew immediately what was wrong. We began to pray together and I moved back to her bed. I can remember walking into her room and hearing her on the phone telling people that I was lost and needed their prayers. I got mad because I felt like such a horrible person and thought that everyone else would think I was horrible, too. I stayed there probably thirty minutes, praying and screaming and crying to God, telling him that I was sorry and please, save me. All of a sudden, that heavy feeling of guilt was gone. I stopped crying and sat up in bed and my mom looked at me. I said, “I’m saved.” We both started crying and laughing. My dad must have heard us crying and me yelling, “I’m saved, I’m saved,” because he came running down the hall and met me. I wanted everyone to know. My mom and I drove to several people’s houses to tell them what had happened. I know in my heart that this will never leave me because this was between God and me, and nobody told me I was saved, because no one can know that but me.