"Your test results are back, and they are abnormal.  The doctor will want to talk with you next week.  Please call tomorrow for an appointment."  (click) Sixteen weeks pregnant with my first child, and on my way out the door to work my 12-hour night shift I received this call.  All night my body worked, my heart cried out to God, the God of my salvation as an 11 year old girl.

The test was to indicate the brain and spinal development of my unborn baby.  Somehow, I finished my shift.  At home, physically and mentally exhausted, I collapsed in prayer.  I was all alone.  Nobody could help me.  I didn't call my family, I had no one to turn to for help in this world...but I had Jesus.  Jesus who understood "all alone".  Jesus, who knew the pain.  Jesus who could help me.  I saw Him on the cross.  I threw myself at His feet.  I prayed there for hours.  Into the midnight, I prayed.  Then a still, small voice whispered, "It's going to be alright".  I felt these words flow over my body.  I jumped up from my bed, I was so astonished.  Immediately, the thought came to me (from the Devil), "He didn't say the baby would be normal."  Just as fast, I said " Whatever happens, HE WILL MAKE IT ALL RIGHT."  Then the song "Oh the Lord Has been Good to Me" came to me.  (Sister Carol, how I love you for singing this song!)  This is grace: unmerited favor.  A special gift.

I did not tell this experience to anyone.  It was so personal, I felt I needed to keep it to myself.  I had such peace.  I'm glad I know the Great Physician, for when I returned to the doctor's office, all of his counseling and recommendations were....hogwash! (i.e. of no use and unacceptable.)  I didn't have my trust in him anyway.  The next five months held more bad advice from my doctor and more grace and wisdom from my Lord.  At one doctor visit, he couldn't find a heartbeat.  I was rushed down the hall and strapped to a heart monitor for two hours.  Many things happened over these five months.  God gave me the wisdom to refuse much of what my doctor advised.  At times, fear would begin to well up in me, but I would say, "No! I HAVE MY ANSWER" and fear would flee.

The delivery was complicated and an emergency C-section was performed at 6:00 P.M.  The baby had problems.  I could hear this gurgling cry and struggle for breath.  I knew before they told me.  The pediatrician came into my room at 9:30 P.M.  Everyone had gone except my parents, Ricky (my husband) and Rosemary.  He told me that multiple and repeated tests revealed several things:
 

• A heart murmur.
• Lung Problems. 
• Strong indicators of Down's Syndrome, or mental retardation.
• Possible need of heart surgery.
• No promise that he would live through the night.
• A 10% chance for children with these characteristics to live a normal life.

Several nurses and two doctors agreed with these findings.  There was no mistake.  I listened calmly and serenely.  I could hear the others saying, "Do you think she understood what he was telling her?"  They were shocked by my reaction.  God's grace was carrying me through.  They left the hospital and got on the pone to Victory and *Victory began to pray.  I thank my God for those people.  When they pray, God listens.

When we were alone Ricky asked "What are we going to do?"  I replied, "The Lord saw us through today and He'll see us through tomorrow.  If the Lord takes him from us, at least we had him a few hours.  He's the Lord's to give and the Lord's to take".  He read a few verses to me and we slept.  The Lord did not require me to give up my son, but he required me to get willing.  A handicapped child, a well child or no child, I had completely surrendered to His will months before.  That's where grace is found.

The pediatrician came into my room at 7:00 A.M. and said "There is nothing wrong with your baby.  He's perfect!  The murmur is gone, he's fine.  We can't explain it.  The tests have all come back normal this morning.  We don't know why".  I simply said, "I do". 

This is a real-life miracle healing.  We give God all the THANKS, GLORY and PRAISE.  God's grace, which gives peace beyond understanding in such a time of trouble, is no less miraculous.  He can replace human emotions with Godly contentment.  Accept no substitutes!  God chose to restore my child to perfect health.  What the doctors thought would be a mentally retarded child is now at the top of his 2nd grade class.  When God decides to make someone whole, He doesn't do it by halves!  Sometimes we are headed for the lion's den with no escape.  All alone.  But our Lord will go in with us and shut the lion's mouths.  We can even sleep peacefully while we're there.  Like the three Hebrew children said, "Our God is able to save us from this fire....but even if He doesn't, we will still serve Him".

De we only receive good at the hand of God and not bad?  Certainly not.  Some are required to lose a child.  I may be required to in the future.  I do know that my children don't belong to me.  I don't even belong to myself!  We are all bought with a price: the blood of Jesus Christ.  His power is boundless.  His mercy is everlasting.  His grace is sufficient.
 
 

*Note: "Victory"  refers to Victory Missionary Baptist Church